Testimony: Back To Him

I grew up in a Catholic home. My family would often take me to church every Sunday, while my mom taught me the fundamentals of Catholic faith. At a very young age, I've had an idea who God is and what Jesus did. I even competed in Bible quiz bees and joined the campus ministry.

Amid my Biblical knowledge, I never really got to know God, at least on a personal level.

I never really felt the love of God like how Christians did back in the day. Perhaps because I tend to magnify our family's issues rather than looking at God's direction. I even blamed the Lord at one point for all the misfortunes we've had when I was a kid.
I never really knew God back then.

During my collegiate days, I learned to become more liberal with my insights. I acquired a very secular lifestyle and perspective in life, thanks to the people I met in school. While I fairly succeeded with my academic endeavors (and failed in some aspects), I was totally distant from my Catholic roots. I didn't even bother to pray a single day during those years.
I never really knew God back then.

After college, I found myself drifting from one job to another. I was a sales manager, a layout artist, an associate editor, and a trainer. I never knew my purpose because I was narrowly fixated on the idea of earning money. My career zeal slowly dissipated. I even got to various vices and tried occult for a while. I wasn't happy and I've had a pretty skewed purview when it comes to relationships.
I never really knew God back then.

I remember that moment when I got really drunk out of depression during an out-of-town trip. I relied on alcohol alone to wash off all the frustrations I've felt that night. I initially thought that it will help fix my emotions, but things certainly got worse. After puking a whole lot and getting sick the following day, I've had an epiphany. This kind of lifestyle had to end. The week after, I promised myself that I will veer away from all these vices and focus on becoming better, which I did. I became active in running and quit alcoholism altogether. While I slowly got my life back on track, I never really acquired any semblance of true joy.

Fortunately, God led me to meet an old friend of mine at a lifestyle event. She introduced me to her then-boyfriend, who eventually became my discipler. He prayed for me and taught about our Lord's great love for us. I felt truly happy, because I never experienced being prayed for the past few years. I only relied on myself, and nothing more.

On my way home, I decided to turn away from my old life. That isn't the kind of life God intended for me. It took me long enough to come across that realization, and once I truly did, I was invited by my future discipler to join a lifegroup. I was desperate more than ever to reconnect with God, and I immediately said yes. Through our Bible studies, I slowly realized all the mistakes I've had in the past and felt the outpouring of love from our Lord. I even began watching preachings and doing personal devotions during my free time.

Little by little, I get to know God. My relationship with the Lord has been restored anew, and I have never been this joyful. While I regret all the years I've wasted, I learned through the Lord that he simply leveraged those dark times to steer me back to Him.

As the Apostle Paul puts it, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 ESV.

If you feel like you're stuck in your situation and living an aimless life, let me tell you: your story isn't over. God has something better in store for you, and He will always lay in wait to embrace you in His arms once again.The events in your life are meant not to drive you towards evil, but to lead you straight to your true path.

Try Jesus. There's true joy when you dwell in His shadow.